This is a collaborative post. All opinions are my own.

Ben and I got engaged on a cold day in February (Ben purposely proposed the week before Valentine's Day) so this time of year always reminds me of those first few weeks...playing with my new and beautiful ring which felt so strange on my finger, and calling Ben my "fiancé" which felt awkward (but good!!!) on my lips. I remember announcing our engagement to our family and friends, feeling self-conscious but super excited...and a little overwhelmed when the questions started rolling in. When? Where? How many? Who? If you're newly engaged, here's my advice to you. It's important to remember that this is your wedding, no one else's. Don't feel pressure to do it in a certain way or a certain timeframe. Do it at your own pace, in your own way. Especially if you have other big life events going on, like graduating from college, finding a job, moving to a new city, or renting a new property...don't feel like you have to figure it all out at once. Take your time and let yourself enjoy and savor your engagement for a little while without the pressure of making decisions. When you're ready to jump into planning, make a list of everything you need to decide on (some of the biggies are listed below). Then do your best to stay true to what you and your fiancé really want!

The Date

The date is one of the first things to nail down, as you'll need it for everything else. Most people have a general idea of the season or month they want to get married in, but not a particular date. If that's the case, you might want to see what dates are still available for the wedding venue or photographer of your choice. This could end up making the decision for you. Another thing to consider is cost. Different times of the year and days of the week will incur different costs. A Saturday in July will be much more expensive than a Friday in November, even at the same venue. And of course, you'll want to think about what you and your loved ones already have going on. Consider things like graduations, baby due dates, other weddings, and anything else that may already be planned. If there are people you couldn't do the day without, speak to them individually to make sure they don't have any major plans that could coincide with when you want to get married. Asking them early is easy and could save sadness down the line. Once you've got the date locked down, think about sending save the dates (aim for around six months before the wedding, or even earlier). Then you can start working on your lovely unique wedding invitations.

The Budget

An important thing to figure out right away is the budget. It may not be fun to talk about money, but you can’t have a big wedding without it. Get on the same page with your fiancé as soon as possible. Going into debt is not a good way to start married life, so make sure you have a plan for saving the money you need to pay for your wedding in full. If your dreeeaaam wedding isn't feasible with your savings, then start considering less-expensive alternatives. In the long run, it'll serve you so much better to compromise on things like the dress and the food, rather than stretching yourselves financially.

The Destination

Another thing to decide as soon as possible? Where you'll be getting married. This decision might be really difficult, especially if you both grew up in different cities, and you live in yet another different city. If you're having trouble deciding, another idea is to get married abroad. A destination wedding might sound expensive, but if you were already planning on traveling for your honeymoon, you might be surprised. You could have a really special, intimate wedding in Santorini, the Amalfi Coast, Mexico, or wherever you were planning to honeymoon...that actually costs quite a bit less than a big wedding in your hometown. One thing to consider is that flights will likely be more expensive for your guests. Even if you invite the same number of people, you will probably end up with a much smaller list of "Yes" RSVPs. That could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it!

The People

This is one of the hardest parts of wedding planning. First there's narrowing down the guest list, which can cause a lot of anxiety in and of itself. Then, there's deciding on all the key roles, such as the officiant, best man, bridesmaids, ring bearer, and flower girls. Before you stress yourself out too much, remember that you don’t have to fill all these positions. It doesn’t have to be super traditional. You can have one bridesmaid, or zero, or ten...whatever fits your vision. That being said, if you already know what you want, it’s best to ask those people early in the planning process. That way, people's expectations will be clear. It's especially important to give people time to prepare if their role involves tasks to complete.

The Entertainment

Here's another area where you get to do things your way. Choose the entertainment that fits the vibe of the wedding you’re going for. Maybe that means a swing band or a singer, or maybe it means some nontraditional entertainers. Think about the theme of your wedding, then think about who you know or have connections with. If you're planning a casual outdoor wedding and you know someone who is a caricature artist, well that could be super fun! Think outside the box, and you might end up with something really memorable that costs less than the traditional wedding entertainment. 

The Photographer

Whether you're eloping, having a big 300 person wedding, or something in between, you'll want to capture your special day so you can look back on it and show your kids. To find a great photographer, ask for recommendations from friends or search on Instagram for local photographers. Read their reviews and check out their wedding portfolio, then ask your top few choices for rates and availability. Be prepared that experienced wedding photographers are not cheap. You can save money by booking a photographer who is new to the wedding industry, but you'll be taking a gamble.

Of course there are a lot of other details to plan, but if you can get these six decisions squared away early on, you'll be in good shape!

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