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My brother just got married last week, and my sister is currently engaged. So I've been thinking a lot about weddings lately. It's pretty insane how much people are expected to spend on a wedding these days, when they're usually young and not exactly rich themselves. I know some couples have parents who pay for everything, but even so...the average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is over $25,000. Twenty five thousand dollars, you guys!!! That's a downpayment on a house! What are we DOING spending that level of cash on our weddings?! In case you think that amount is inevitable, let me just say...you don't HAVE to spend that much. I certainly didn't, my brother didn't, and my sister won't either. If you can afford to spend that much, and it's truly what you want to use that money for, then ok. By all means. But if you're straight out of college and just starting your careers, if you'd have to use credit cards or borrow from family to blow $25,000 on one day...then please don't! It is possible to have a beautiful, memorable wedding that you can actually afford. It's just going to take some compromise. Here are eight practical ways to save big time.
1. The Guest List. You're getting married, it's a big deal! You're super excited and you want ALL your friends and family to share in this majorly significant day. And your coworkers at the new job you started last month. And your old friends from high school even though you hardly talk anymore. And your parents cousins who send a Christmas card every year. And your realtor. And everyone from church, of course. Before you know it, the guest list is deep into the hundreds. If the invites haven't gone out yet, this is the biggest way to save. Cut down that head count. Of course, you want to invite everyone who really is a big part of your life. But you are not obligated to include every distant relative, old friend, coworker and acquaintance. Go with your gut: do you actually want them there? will you still be friends in five years?
2. The Venue. Once you have your guest list whittled down, it should open more venue options for you. The smaller venues are often the more affordable ones. I've seen people get married at restaurants with cute decor, at public parks or gardens, or in someone's backyard. These options are usually not possible if you're guest list is scraping 300, but they're totally doable with 100 people or less. You might even be able to find someone with a large, beautiful property through social media, Airbnb, or Craigslist. They might be hesitant to host a huge crowd if they've never done weddings, but I bet they'd be willing to take a chance with a more intimate group. If you're really struggling to narrow down your guest list, another option is to plan a destination wedding in the place where you plan to take your honeymoon (you're buying tickets there anyways, right?). That way, you can invite a lot of people but rest assured that only a fraction will actually come (most likely, the ones you're truly close to). Then again, if your guest list is your priority and you want to actually have all those people celebrating alongside you, then recognize that your venue options will be limited. You can still save money by picking a less popular time of the year (or day of the week), and see if they'll give you a discount if you pay the full cost upfront instead of doing a deposit.
3. The Rings. Ladies, this is mostly directed at us since our rings tend to be the more expensive. Your engagement ring is a symbol of commitment, and you wear it every day...so I get it, you want it to be pretty. But please do not equate a bigger diamond with greater love. A simple diamond does the same job as a flashy Neil Lane Bachelor-level sparkler. In fact, I saw a study that said the pricier the ring was, the shorter the marriage lasted. Maybe it's because debt is stressful and money is one of the main things that couples fight about. So don't blow all your savings on a piece of jewelry, even if it is the most significant piece of jewelry you'll ever own!
4. The Vendors. Here's where it can reaaaally add up. The vendors. There are so many people you could hire, from a calligrapher to a wedding planner to an ice sculpture carver. But let's start with the basics. Photographer and florist. Even the most budget-conscious wedding needs those, right? Yes...probably. But you don't need to spend like crazy! One way to save is to look for someone whose style you love, but who is fairly new to the wedding industry. Ask if they'd be willing to cut you a deal in exchange for helping them to market their business and build their portfolio. I also think flowers are totally possible to DIY...with the help of some friends and internet research (that's exactly what I did). Or you can choose your favorite flowers for the bouquets, then use cheaper alternatives for the centerpieces. For example, greenery is really inexpensive and can be beautiful on its own. I love the look of a long rectangular table with a runner made of silver dollar eucalyptus, and mercury glass tealight holders sprinkled throughout. We also used a bunch of free lavender from Ben's parent's backyard. But it doesn't really matter what I did! You need to think about what YOU care about. What you've dreamed about when you imagine your wedding, what's worth it to you...and what's not. Rank your priorities, then assign your money accordingly.
5. The Dress. Take something, anything, and add the word "wedding" before it, and the price skyrockets. So instead of ordering a WEDDING cake, consider just ordering a few simple round cakes. Instead of a WEDDING dress, what about a white or ivory cocktail dress? There are beautiful options that have many of the same features as wedding dresses: lace overlays, sparkly embellishments, and long flowy skirts. You can save a huge amount of money if you're willing to do this. Same applies for your bridesmaids. I just had my girls get cute & simple dresses that they could truly rewear in the future, instead of "real" bridesmaid dresses that cost 3x the amount.
6. The Decor. I love decor. Planning all the little details of our wedding was one of the most fun parts for me. But I found ways to make it beautiful on the cheap. I folded paper pinwheels out of sheet music from Goodwill, I thrifted old books and mason jars for the centerpieces, I hand painted wooden signs on scrap wood from a torn-down fence. One of the best ways to save money is to let go of the idea that every table has to match. If you pick an overall theme, then you can hunt down vases and decor items that are similar but not exactly alike at thrift stores and discount stores, instead of having to buy everything new. Another idea is to look on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace. You might get lucky and find another bride who is offloading everything from her wedding. If it's close enough to your style, snap those deals up! Likewise, after your wedding, recoup some of the costs by reselling items you won't use in your home. Hint: you probably don't need 25 similar vases. That reminds me, if there's something you're planning to rent that is fairly costly, look into buying it instead and reselling it after. We did that with our tablecloths. We were able to sell them for nearly as much as we paid, which meant it cost way less than renting would've.
7. The Food. Food is obviously important and necessary. You can't very well expect all these people to travel for your wedding, then feed them only a few snacks. But there are many ways to save in this category too. I've already mentioned the idea of getting some regular cakes instead of a wedding cake. You can also supplement with your favorite make-ahead desserts, like cookies or kettle corn. No need to get anything fancy and expensive like macarons or chocolate truffles. I promise people will be perfectly happy with chocolate chip cookies and m&ms. In the same vein, think about your favorite casual foods, instead of sophisticated (expensive) catered food. Burgers or tacos at a wedding might be unexpected, but most guests will think it's fun and delicious. Another idea is to get married in the morning instead of evening. That way, you can serve breakfast foods like waffles, pastries, and coffee--way less expensive than steak and cocktails. If alcohol isn't a big part of your life, consider skipping it altogether (we did, and it saved us a ton...we just had iced tea and lemonade). Or do wine and beer, and maybe one signature cocktail, instead of an open bar where people can order anything.
8. The Honeymoon. Last but not least, the honeymoon! This is such a fun, special, and memorable trip. But to be honest, a wedding itself is a LOT to plan. Adding a dream vacation on top of that? Kinda overwhelming. By the time your wedding arrives, you may be out of energy for a big, exciting trip and just want to relaaaax. You also probably won't have as much time to focus on trip planning beforehand, if all the wedding details end up taking priority. If you pick a destination like Europe which requires a lot of logistics, prior planning, and the energy to sightsee all day...you may feel like you didn't do it justice. I personally feel like it's easier (and cheaper) to take a low-key honeymoon in a destination where you won't feel guilty if you mostly just relax and enjoy being a married couple. You can always save the big, elaborate vacations for the future.
Hope this is helpful and encouraging! You can totally plan a wedding you will love and look back on fondly, without breaking the bank. All these photos are from my own wedding, which was almost nine years ago (!!!). We spent about $5000 which felt like a lot of money at the time (we were poor and newly graduated from college)...but it was way less than the national average even back then.
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For a really small simple wedding in Spokane, I recommend http://www.lunaspokane.com/ as a venue. We had about 40 people at our wedding and loved it.
We decided on a morning wedding mainly because of the kids who were invited and my mom who does better in the morning, and that ended up being way less expensive too.
I also borrowed a dress (it’s worth asking a friend! We only paid for dry cleaning afterwards) and had my sister photograph the wedding (I hope she forgives me for the stress I caused her) and we had a separate “bridal shoot” a few days before the wedding with a professional which was very unconventional but was a great deal.
So smart, Joy! I love all those ideas!