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The other day, Ben and I were looking through our baby pictures, trying to decide who Ian most resembles...which led to a fun afternoon of looking through a bunch of old photos from our childhoods and the early days of our relationship. One thing we were both struck by is how much simpler life used to be...not just way back when we were little kids, but even a few years ago (2006) when we first started seeing each other. When we went on a date and just talked to each other, without checking our phones or taking pictures for Instagram at the same time (this is mostly on me, but Ben is guilty sometimes too). When we watched a movie and just cuddled, without simultaneously folding laundry or (again) checking our phones. When we baked together, painted, built elaborate snowmen, laid on the floor listening to music, went on hikes, and tossed the frisbee at the park--just for fun. I feel like the last few years of my life I've become so efficient, productive, and busy that I've become a lot less fun, spontaneous, and relaxed. I know some of that comes with growing up, working a full-time job, and having less free time than I did as a kid. But I suspect that smartphones also contribute a lot to the constant busyness that so many of us feel. There's always something new to check, something to "do" when there's a lull in conversation or a quiet moment.
I want to get back to the simplicity of living "in the moment" and doing one thing at a time whole-heartedly, rather than trying to pack in a bunch of activities that only get a fraction of my attention. When Ian was first born, my priorities were recalibrated in a really good way and it was easy to focus on him and let everything else go. But now that we're home and getting back into a normal routine, I feel my old, busy self creeping back in. When I'm hanging out with him, I have this nagging feeling that I should be doing something more--paying medical bills, cleaning the house, writing thank you cards, etc. And all those things do need to get done...but if I'm spending time with Ian? That is ALL I need to be doing. So I want to make a conscious effort to embrace slow living, to do one thing at a time without guilt or anxiety, and to enjoy what I am currently doing without thinking about everything else that needs to get done.
I know motherhood, and life in general, does involve wearing lots of hats. But I feel like there's a culture today that glorifies being hectically busy, stretched in so many different directions, and yet still, miraculously, getting it all done (hurrah! #girlboss!). But maybe, instead of trying so hard to "do it all," it's better to just pick a few things and do them well.
Anyways, that's what I've been thinking about. For Ian's sake, Ben's sake, and honestly for my own sake, I am going to really try to slow down and savor this stage of life. And maybe stop picking my phone up every five minutes...
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I really relate to your post in so many ways! The first is because I miss those simpler days, when we would cuddle on the couch and just giggle together and cooking together - which we've started to do a lot more this year again. The pleasure of disconnecting from the world and just enjoy those moments that are precious to us. The 2nd one, well yeah, maybe in a matter of days we are going to be first time parents too, and I want to ensure she has the same good memories of childhood as I had. All those simple moments together as a family :)
I think it's a common feeling! We've gone on hikes, backpacking trips, and vacations where we didn't have phone service or wifi, and it can be sooo refreshing to disconnect. And congratulations on becoming first time parents too!!! It's such a sweet and precious time of life. Much love to you and your little family! xoxo
Doing a slow day can do you good c:
just focus on 1-2 things mainly, quality over
quantity! I also need to leave the phone a
bit longer than 5 min as well haha
Xx http://icepandora.blogspot.com
Exactly! I've been making myself to-do lists with only 3 items on them each day, so I don't get so stressed out. If I get anything additional done, great. But if not, then I don't feel guilty!
I love and agree with all of this!! its not all about balance, its about priorities ;)
Perfectly said! Choosing your priorities is so much more realistic than trying to "balance" everything.
Precious considerations! So good to be focused and present:)! Gentle hugs to you all :)!
Thank you Debbie! We're doing our best!
I can so relate! I quit coach soccer right before we started a family because it was too much and I lost track of what was important to me.
I'm trying really hard to live in the moment because you never know when the last time is for whatever is going on. Last time your baby will snuggle on your chest like a little newborn, last time they will take a bottle, last time they give you an open mouthed kissy...ENJOY IT ALL!! You blink and they are walking, talking, eating and being sassy.
SO TRUE! Aww, I'm already sad about Ian's "lasts"...but at least there will be fun, new "firsts" to make it less bittersweet!
Also, that picture is so so sweet!!
Aww, thank you!!!