This is a collaborative post. All opinions are my own.

I've been kind of obsessed with finances lately. I shared my plan to be super frugal in 2019 so we can save up for an investment property. So far, I've tried to cut down extra expenses while simultaneously adding extra sources of income (a big one is renting our personal house on Airbnb. I'm working on a blog post all about it, so stay tuned!). I've also been listening to lots of financial podcasts to stay motivated and get ideas. But I've noticed that in these discussions, children are often referred to as one of the challenging parts of reaching our financial goals. I understand this: childcare is ridiculously expensive, and there are lots of other costs too. Everything from kids' activities, diapers, clothing, and food can add up. These costs are perhaps the first things that come to mind when we think of children in relation to money. Parenting is emotionally rewarding, but it's a big drain on the bank account. That's what the media suggests, so we assume it's true...right? Actually, I don't know! I've noticed that in our family, our kids help us stay on track with our money goals in many ways. Of course, with me as a stay-at-home mom right now, our traditional W2 income has decreased significantly. But our spending has also gotten much better since we became parents. And we've found other ways to boost our side income and get smarter about money. So maybe, having kids and saving money aren't so diametrically opposed?!

1. Kids Give Your Money Purpose

When we were earning two paychecks before, we didn't have a great purpose for the excess money. Sad to admit, we wasted a lot of it on expensive restaurants and clothes. We didn't have a unifying goal or a greater reason to save, other than vacations and a desire to buy a house eventually. Becoming parents gave our money purpose: precious little people that wholly depend on us to provide for them, feed them, and give them opportunities in life. It also motivated us to learn how to manage our money better. Parents are role models, after all, and we want to set a good example for our kids...in finances as well as all aspects of life.

 2. Parents Have Different Priorities & Activities

No doubt about it, children change your priorities and the activities you do for fun. The things we did as a married couple with no kids are just not the same with little ones. Eating at fancy restaurants with babies who fling food everywhere? Not fun. Taking them to the movie theater? Not possible. And babies just don't care about the money you spend on them. Let's take planning a one-year-old's birthday party for example. You might picking out adorable decorations and an expensive trendy outfit, choose the best entertainment from AliveNetwork.com, and order an elaborate cake from a talented local baker. Your kid will likely react with the same excitement and enthusiasm as if you'd gotten a sheet cake from Costco and put them in a hand-me-down outfit they already own. This endearing and entirely loveable trait makes you look at the world with new eyes too. Honestly, the things my kids enjoy most are usually FREE. Playing at the park, going to the library, a playdate at a friend's house, eating dinner at grandma's, getting outside for a family hike...all of these activities are totally enjoyable and happily frugal. And when we want to indulge in a treat? We usually get coffee and pastries now, instead of drinks and dinner. It's a lot more affordable, and our kids behave best in the morning anyways.

 3. Time At Home Becomes More Fun

As someone who loves interior design, I've always always loved houses. But before we had kids, Ben and I would usually go on big (expensive) adventures every weekend, barely spending any time in the home we worked so hard to decorate. Now, we spend a lot of time at home. Some of that is out of necessity: our kids still nap, so we're usually here for at least a couple hours midday. But some of that is because we enjoy being home more. Our kids are our buddies, and whether we're playing in the backyard, making creations out of kinetic sand, or cuddling on the couch, we love spending time with them in simple ways. As they get older, I hope they will continue to fill our house with joy, purpose, and activity. . Whether we're snuggling a baby, baking cookies with a toddler, helping a school-age kid with homework, watching a movie with a teenager, or having an adult kid over for coffee and a chat...kids make it more fun to relax at home.

4. Freedom & Confidence to Let Go of Expenses that Don't Matter to You

These days, everyone is trying to impress everyone else. When Ben and I were both working, I bought new clothes regularly, did my makeup every day, and paid for expensive balayage to color my hair because I was trying keeping up appearances...and it was exhausting. However, as a mom, after changing countless diapers, cleaning vomit and everything else, and having my kids cry and throw tantrums in grocery stores, I've learned not to care (as much) how others see me. I'm not as easily embarrassed, and I no longer spend a lot of money on my appearance. Of course, if you still enjoy makeup and fashion, then those might be areas of your life that are worth spending money on. But they didn't bring me joy (just stress), so I let go of those expenditures and that pressure to look a certain way, with a sigh of relief. Not trying to keep up with what's in style is an incredibly freeing feeling--and it's good on the wallet too. Having kids gives you a lot of clarity on what's important, and what you can let go of guilt-free. If you are struggling to ignore the judgments of others, check out niashanks.com for some help.

5. Kids Are a Motivation for Success

Lastly, kids are a huge motivator of success. There's nothing that kicks you into action more than your love for your children, and the desire to create a better life for them. You want your kids to see you as a success, and you want to leave them a legacy. Having kids can cause you to buckle down, work harder, and achieve more. For some, their kids can be the reason they chase a promotion, higher education degree, or a new job with a better salary, when they might have been complacent otherwise. For me, my kids have given me motivation to look for additional ways to bring in side income even while I'm raising them.

What about you? Has becoming a parent affected you financially in surprising ways?

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